the nutrition lesson that I learned from... cookie dough???

(Yes, really.)

Let’s address the elephant in the room—

• Yes, this is a HEALTH-focused newsletter.

• Yes, I am a registered nurse with my doctorate.

• Yes, I am very passionate about nutrition.

• ….And, yes, I am about to dedicate an entire email to discussing how COOKIE DOUGH recently *upgraded* my health.

Doughn’t you want to know more?!

(Sorry^^ Pity laughs not required, but welcomed).

So, yeah, this post is exactly what the title says— I *genuinely* had a PROFOUND, misty-eyed, veryyyy impactful moment while munchin’ on on a hunk of unbaked, raw egg dessert [that the CDC ~technically~ warns against], okay?!

But, before we dive in, I do want to mention that this post is going to come with a trigger warning about diets, disordered eating, and weight loss. I know that these topics are sensitive for some and I totally understand and respect that ◡̈ Please do take care of yourself and skip reading this post if those topics don’t serve you! 

Okay, first, let’s rewind—

For context on my #profound cookie dough moment, we first have to time travel back to a younger version of Kate.

This young Kate was similar in many ways to current Kate— generally happy. lighthearted. probably had a stain on her shirt. frequent terrible puns.

and she LOVED health.

I’m serious. For as long as I can remember, I have always been passionate about health— even at a young age.

As a kid, I remember being obsessed with the health articles in Readers Digest, reading (and re-reading) the nutrition label of my morning cereal box, paging through my mom’s nursing school textbooks “for fun” (to be clear— I was SUPER cool.)

It’s hard to describe, but as long as I can remember I have felt drawn to the topic of health, longevity, nourishment…

and, mainly, just wanting to FEEL GOOD— in body, in mind, in spirit.

Sounds great, right?
Well….

While I can say that MOST of this passion for wellbeing was good-natured, inspiring, and overall beneficial to my body, my career path, and my life—

The was ONE area of life where my “fascination” with health gradually evolved into an obsession— manifesting as something negative, consuming, and the entire opposite of healthy.

… and THAT was a fixation with calories, losing weight, and, ultimately, wanting to look as “healthy” as possible (AKA, as skinny as possible).

What started as an innocent & genuine curiosity about “eating healthy” paired with wanting to “be in shape” for running ultimately led to some disordered eating habits.

In my teen years and early college, I was very much restricting, counting every calorie, and always trying to follow what diet culture told me was “good.” (Which, for the record, is ALWAYS changing, btw ;)

While I could write a novel about this experience, the basic synopsis is that young Kate took “eating healthy” too far, viewed all foods as “good” or “bad,” and had a very complicated, mind-consuming relationship with food. (And, gosh, writing this makes me want to time-travel back and give young Kate a hug.)

fast-forward to present day—

I am SO thankful to say that with time & maturity (and a LOT of mindset work & self-grace), I genuinely feel “on the other side” of this restrictive, obsessive eating behavior.

Errrrrrr……on *most* days. To be honest, these restrictive thoughts DO still rear their ugly head from time-to-time (and likely always will), but thankfully it’s few and far between these days. *insert alleluia praise chorus here*

Because, over the years, I have learned that FUELING my body is what counts—

Listening to hunger cues, eating mindfully, prioritizing whole, simple foods, eating enough, incorporating plenty of protein, and, ultimately, *paying attention* to how certain foods made my body FEEL has slowly (but surely) transformed my body and relationship with food for the better.

It hasn’t always been easy, but I am so proud of how far I’ve come.

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Now, to the point of this whole email— let’s talk about COOKIE DOUGH….

Ya ready?

Recently I had a craving where I was like “ugh I want cookie dough SO BAD.”

So I had a chunk of cookie dough. That’s it. That’s the profound moment. 

Okay, okay— While it really is that simple, let’s go a bit deeper—

It was an average Tuesday. I had just eaten lunch. I “shouldn’t” have been still hungry or wanting anything...

But yet, I genuinely wanted cookie dough. It wasn’t a mindless craving or eating out of boredom or eating to numb myself— it just truly sound so. dang. good. in that moment.

So, I waltzed over to the freezer and opened my emergency stash of cookie dough (we all have one, right? …. right?),

I grabbed a chunk. I took a bite. I truly enjoyed it, I savored it, I ate it.

and that was it.

But instantly afterwards, I got a bit misty-eyed.

Because that moment was SO uncomplicated, SO intuitive, and SO natural, which just struck me because it reminded me of another time where I’d had the cookie dough craving…

I was in high school and I specifically remember there were some frozen chunks of white chocolate macadamia nut cookie dough in my parents’ freezer.

I wanted some SO. BAD.

But, at the time, I viewed cookie dough as a “bad” food.

So instead of just having the cookie dough, I did what many of us do— I tried to “distract” myself, my hunger cues, my instincts.

I chewed gum, I had a sparkling water, I started watching tv…but I still kept thinking about it. I couldn’t let myself have a “bad” food! *gasp*

So instead of just eating the damn cookie dough, I instead..

had a granola bar (a “good” food). then a spoonful of peanut butter (again, it’s “good”!). And an apple (the good-est of them all!). And even a rice cake (it may taste like air… but it’s “good”!). And so on and so forth.

There I was— just relentlessly eating AROUND the craving.

Have you ever done this? Frantically scarfing down “good” foods, but avoiding the thing that you truly wanted?

It’s such an odd thing. The answer is so… obvious. Like, just eat a piece of cookie dough, truly enjoy it, and be done with it.

But truthfully, at that stage of my life, had I gone for the cookie dough I probably just would have binged it and eaten the entire tub— completely disconnected from my body & hunger cues.

And I was scared of that. Scared of the calories. Scared of losing control.

So, it felt safer to eat my way through the “good” items— trying to squelch out the yearning for that one pesky OFF-LIMITS item.

I mean, HOW DRAMATIC. How DRAINING. How… sad.

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a moment of reflection—

So, to be standing in my kitchen in my late 20s, feeling more healthy than ever before, and contrasting my “now” to that vivid moment was unexpectedly emotional for me. I actually got a bit teary-eyed.

Why was this moment SO impactful, you may ask?

Because, my friend, there was a period of my life where I COULDN’T *truly* enjoy a “treat” without silently counting calories in my head. A time where I couldn’t have cookie dough without making a plan to “burn it off” the next day. A time where I would research a restaurant’s menu excessively before arriving to “plan” what i would order.

A time when my eating choices were based around numbers, metrics, and units...*not joy or intuition*

But as I sat there munching on my cookie dough, truly tasting the dark chocolate chunks, savoring the chewy, delicious texture, and GENUINELY enjoying every moment— I realized how far I have come.

• Because, when I used to want cookie dough it became a total mind game— chewing gum, drinking sparkling water, having an apple, then a rice cake, and thennnnnn eventually binge on the cookies anyway (AKA ignoring all of my hunger cues.)
  

• But, now? When I truly crave cookie dough – I have some cookie dough. The end. There was so much less drama, so much less mental chatter, so much less time (and, ultimately, if you want to go there it was fewer calories just to have the thing I wanted to have instead of trying to eat 15 different snacks “instead of”  it!).
  

• And, of importance, it was also full of more joy, more satisfaction, and more positive self talk because I was *listening* to my body, and eating in a portion that felt GOOD. 

And here’s the thing, I know you might be reading this and rolling your eyes…

I used to feel the same way. When people would talk about “intuitive eating” I would scoff because what if my “intuition” was constantly telling me to eat an entire row of Oreos and a bag of chips and a jar of almond butter, and to Postmate myself some Chinese takeout!?!?!?

The truth was— at that stage of my life, I was so OUT of tune with my body that I couldn’t even imagine “eating intuitively” or listening to a craving, honoring it, and eating it in a portion that felt good for my body.

So, if you’re there, I just want you to know you’re not alone at all — I have totally been there and I just want to offer a glimmer of hope. While everyone’s journey is different, by prioritizing whole, nourishing foods, and really just allowing myself more grace, freedom, and PERMISSION with food I really have gotten to a place where I can tune in, where nothing is “off limits”, and where food is place of JOY (not stress).

And this all happened because I started *listening* to my body. With time (and practice), I’ve learned to honor these cues and I can feed it what it is *truly* wanting— whether it’s “good” or “bad” because it’s deeper than that.

it’s not what sounds good, it’s what FEELS good.

Because, objectively if you compare a piece of cookie dough to a salad…hmmmm what sounds better? 

(I know my answer…. *wipes snickerdoodle crumb off of lip*)

But then I think about what will make me FEEL better.

While cookies are delicious (and absolutely not off-limits), I KNOW a green smoothie with whole foods, fueling proteins, beautiful berries, and healthy fats will make me FEEL better than if I were to have a cookie binge for lunch.

So, with time, eating more well-balanced, whole food meals and snacks, and realizing how GOOD & VIBRANT & ENERGIZED I could feel—

Those NOURISHING foods becomes what I truly want 90% of the time. I used to think it was a load of bull$h!t, but, it turns out, these healthy foods really DID become *intuitively* what I wanted?! Saaaay WHAT?!

Because, I’ve learned that eating what I want is more than what I’m just eating in that moment — it’s how it will make me feel after the meal.

So, yes, 90% of the time, what I *genuinely* want to eat is a green smoothie or a hearty salad or a delicious grain bowl, but that other 10% of the time where what I truly want is the cookie dough (or the chips…or the dark chocolate with peanut butter on it… or the chips and guac) it’s not a big deal because I’m listening to my body and I know I can have it whenever I please. 

“eating healthy” is more than just metrics

Old me would’ve told you that in order for a meal to be “healthy” it had to be calorie, full of veggies, packed with fiber, high in protein, and blah blah blah.

Now? “Healthy eating” is a meal or snack that feels intentional and PURPOSEFUL. Point blank.

To me, “healthy eating” is the sweet spot where I am nourishing my body with whole, pure foods most of the time *and* also being able to have a treat, relax + gather with friends, go out to eat, and truly enjoooooy my food (...without wildly calculating calories in my head).

A place where *nothing* is off limits as long as I am eating with intention and approaching meals with moderation.

—and I’ve gotten here tuning in. Paying attention. Feeding my body what it is *truly* craving on a cellular level.

Foods that will make me feel my best—

• Most of the time what my body *really* wants and craves are pure whole foods: a veggie omelet. delicious hummus. a cozy, comforting soup.

• ...but other times, it's the joy of socializing over a bottle of wine with friends, having fries dipped in ranch at your favorite restaurant, a charcuterie board with loved ones, annnnd a piece of cookie dough on an average Tuesday afternoon.

Because, when you boil it down, ALL of these things are "healthy” to me— as long I am eating them my body, mind, and soul aligned and with a purpose. To me, food is now a place where my attitude is “everything in moderation— including moderation itself.” 😉✨

Sooo, my friend, let this encourage you that you can find a “sweet spot” on your nutrition journey.

I hope this was a reminder that “good” foods & “bad” foods can co-exist. A reminder that there is FREEDOM found in a 90/10 lifestyle. A reminder that a “healthy life” does require flexibility in order to be sustainable long-term.

And, ultimately, a reminder that you can crave your cookie dough— and eat it too ;)

XX,

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